it's time to leave [ May 18, 2008 @ 12:20 am ] nosundays [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | blackfield; miss u ] I was idiot enough to watch the series finale of Will & Grace and I can't breathe and this is hard. when people talk about how their world end when they finish a book, my world seems to be alive but utterly alone it's like pluto far away from everyone. I simply hate the last season, absolutely everything about it and please bring them back I need them please. my relation to a few of my friends is like theirs and in the season finale they couldn't be with each other for twenty years and I was utterly afraid. it's fiction but fiction's base is in the reality and my heart got all tangled when the season got incredibly sad and sad and sad and I just couldn't understand why this is ending why this is going to this direction why. it's like after the show ends they're dead. they don't exist anymore. it's even worse than if they had died in the middle of show. because even if you died you'd have existed. haven't yet watched the season two or three or six. there's hope for me. I dare to say it even if sounds absolutely pathetic. I haven't ended a show for years. and Will & Grace - well it actually made happy. and they got separated. since I saw the show for the first time I wished I could be Will. I'd have my Grace. and we'd be happy. happy. my flight leaves in fourteen hours. if I could have one superpower I'd like to have the ability to control the time. Post Comment

*über sob* [ May 17, 2008 @ 9:37 am ] kwiditchjunkie [ mood | crushed ] DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAN! *runs away crying* I cried for about an hour after last Thursday's episode... I thought Sammy was gonna save him. BUT HE COULDN'T. *frustrated* DAMMIT, Kripke! How could you kill my favorite character from my favorite TV show?! How could you?! Okay... deep breath, Jane. I know that Dean's going to come back; he has to. Supernatural isn't Supernatural without Dean Winchester. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Supernatural for hours to make me feel better... :( Post Comment

DUDE [ May 16, 2008 @ 10:46 am ] sharingank [ mood | nauseated ] I HAVE SUCH A BAD HEADACHE I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA BARF. DDDDDD: STILL GOING TO THE GYM ANYWAY. NEED TO GET MY ABZ TONED. NARNIA TODAY. AFJASKDFLAFDJALFSLKASF EVEN THOUGH I THINK I'M GONNA LAUGH AT CASPIAN'S ACCENT. D: Also CARRIE'S BBQ I hope I'm not puking when I show up. THAT'D BE A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION WOULDN'T IT. HEY CARRIE'S FRIENDS IGNORE THE NASTY ON MY SHIRT AND IGNORE THE SOUNDS COMING FROM THE BATHROOM HAHAHA BRB. Tony Stark is still so sexy. gimmegimmegimme HAPPY BIRTHDAY alory_shannon! You want I should sing for you? :D UM SORRY ABOUT THE EXTREME CAPS ATTACK. I'M CHANNELING RYOHEI OR SMTH. omg my pets are so cute omg gonna barf omg gym now kay Jamie you better have slept long you tard. EDIT-WHERE IS MY FUCKING TAX RETURN MONEY LAKSDFJSALKDF Read (17) Post Comment

i'll embrace this day forever [ May 16, 2008 @ 1:26 am ] nosundays [ music | jenni vartiainen; ihmisten edessä ] streets are filled with people they don't know anything about us you're waiting for me at the station maybe the watch will forgive me I'll run the rest of the way you're beautiful just like always in your high heels my week has gotten better since Sunday and today was so amazing that I'm not sure if I dare to go back to Swaziland. first I met Laura (laurachai) and we went to a café and talked and talked and I was so amazed how easy it was still to talk with her (this is only the second time in three years when I've met her and the last time was just two weeks ago). she is serious about coming to South Africa and she is the first person ever to seriously consider about coming to visit me in Africa and she said that she could come in August and I'm thinking of not coming to Finland in August so I could spend my time with her in Cape Town & Namibia or somewhere else. it'd be amazing and I'd love to do that but let's see what my parents say plus if I can change my tickets. and then she played a song, this one song that totally aced my world and made it so pretty and wonderful and I was like this song is a ghost from my past but it actually isn't, it's something more. and I fell in love so badly that it hurts and hurts. a tea with Laura makes me feel good. (ps. please come to South Africa & Malaysia) you say: "tonight we'll walk hand in hand in front of people don't you worry about others gazes because we're together they don't know anything, they don't belong in this story that is meant for only a few" then I met Pauliina (flariariia) and we bought red wine and baguette and cheese and we were bohemian and went to a park and talked. unfortunately we played this stupid game and it didn't work but then I started to drink the wine faster and faster and soon I lost my control. it was cold and we went to a bar and they played amazing music and we bought tea and I put tequila into my tea and I felt wonderful and amazing. we had the best conversation ever and I wished it could have lasted longer as I think I was just starting off and I told her things that I had never talked about and I don't know I don't think either of us had been so open with each other although we're quite honest with each other. you know? I wish we could do this more often. I think I discover so much when talking with Pauliina as she is quite different from me. we've the same base but different frosting. streets are filled with voices that are shouting to us you're the stronger of the two of us with you I don't fear the darkness of the city in front of the crowd you hold on tighter and my fear disappears it was a beautiful day. it was chilly although the sun shined and shined. the flowers were happy but more importantly I was happy - not only with the world but with myself, too. the streets were fairly empty but still it was like it was filled with stories that have been heard so many times but still never been understood. my email box told me that I received an email from Malaysia and my Finnish supervisor for the Malaysia-project informed me that he's starting a budget for me. even though I fell in love with Helsinki today once again (thanks to Laura, Pauliina and this song that I'm listening to over and over again), I think I'm ready to leave this place. thank you for nineteen wonderful years. you're a sweetheart, Helsinki. because tonight we walk hand in hand in front of people don't you worry about others gazes because we're together they don't know anything, they don't belong in this story that is meant for only a few I wish you love the song (Ihmisten edessä by Jenni Vartiainen) as much as I do. for some people this might the first time when they hear Finnish. I hope you love the language, too. sometimes it's like I've a secret when I talk Finnish. I love it. ps. Facebook won't inform you about my entries anymore. thank god. Read (29) Post Comment

Grad School=PWNED [ May 15, 2008 @ 12:35 pm ] sharingank [ mood | cheerful ] Management: B Library Services to Young Adults: A Library Materials and Services for School-Age Children: A- E-Publishing: A YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS. Two workshops, a practicum, and a class, and I am finished with grad school. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. What is this madness. Now I just need my financial situation to straighten itself out, oy. Sweating bullets, here. SO CHECK-IN. HOW IS EVERYONE. Here is something funny--I nearly peed myself laughing, for serious. Epic thread between Bossun, Death the Kid, and Hikaru. Death the Kid is, of course, played by yours truly. 8D HE IS LIKE, THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD PLAYING A CHARACTER. EVER. laskf the icon abuse oh lord. Read (44) Post Comment

[ May 13, 2008 @ 9:58 pm ] sae_rina I am very intrigued by the things you say. Sometimes I find it harder to distinguish you from your poor-decision making friends. So much for the whole trust thing. It was a nice theory and all. Perhaps it's me who has grown so much more callous. I just can't stand those people. Post Comment

bwejuu; not in this world [ May 14, 2008 @ 12:45 am ] nosundays [ music | pineapple thief; my debt to you ] the boats lingered but they spoke about the world. white sand wrote letters to the Indian ocean and the sun told me that she has never been happier. we had left Stone Town for few hours to visit Bwejuu, one of the smallest villages in Zanzibar. there only a handful of people so the quietness sang softly, tenderly perhaps. the first time ever when I felt complete outside of a city. when there was no one passing by I felt like thousands and hundreds of people got a chance to tell their story which was heard for the first time. the shadows of the palm trees danced in a lovely way and I wanted to join them. it was like this place was separated from the rest of the world and it was a secret place where you come and wash your bones with mysteries that are not mysteries anymore when you'll leave the place. my flip-flops tanned and they were extremely happy. my feet made love with the white and vibrantly beautiful clams were so envied that they gossiped about me but it didn't matter because I was happy, too and couldn't care less what other people thought of me. in Bwejuu it felt like I mattered to someone. the sky was bluer than ever before and the Indian ocean absorbed the blueness from her and then I realized that they were secret lovers. when I saw the coconuts mingling with the palm trees, I thought: that's it, I'll leave cities and escape from the world to here and send messages in bottles to make the world more beautiful. it was almost impossible to leave Bwejuu; we had to wait three hours in the main road before a already-filled bakkie (a pick up truck) took us. we saw four cars altogether before that. Bwejuu was amazing. many of you've seen these pictures already, I'm sorry. ( zanzibar; the sailing palms ) this Sunday I'll leave for Swaziland. I'm not sure if I'm ready. Read (9) Post Comment

Go, Speed Racer! Go! [ May 11, 2008 @ 1:33 pm ] kwiditchjunkie [ mood | groggy ] [ music | "Go Speed Racer Go" - Ali Dee and the Deekompressors ] Saw Speed Racer on Friday and it was THE AWESOMENESS. It was so cute! ^_^ Emile Hirsch was helladorable and Nick Elia (who played Ben in SPN's "The Kids Are Alright") was so smishable, I just wanted to eat him. XD And the kid who played Spritle, Paulie Litt, totally helped make that film work! And Matthew Fox is a fox! *jumps up and down* I wasn't disappointed by this movie! It brought back memories of mini-me sitting in front of the TV on Saturdays watching the cartoon. I had the theme song memorized. And I loved the Devo version, which I still sing to this day. One detail: I experienced vertigo afterward and inadvertently went down the 40mph road at 60... XD I couldn't help but wanna go fast. But the real thing I wanna mention is... RAIN. THE KOREAN HIP-HOP PHENOM!!!!! Who is, by the way, Stephen Colbert's nemesis because he beat out Colbert for first in the Top 100 most influential people of the world survey. But really, Rain is smokin' fine. I've seen a few of his videos and he has some moves that are very... enticing. XD And his songs are catchy. What I was getting at was Rain is in the movie. He played Taejo. ^_^ Now I'm just geekin' out about him, even though I don't really like hip-hop all that much.. but I will make an exception to that rule. XD Here's Stephen Colbert's and Rain's dance-off: ( He's dancin' in Korean ) ---------------------------------------------- It's raining... I always get sleepy when it's raining... *stares out the window* Rain! Post Comment

first meme ever on nosundays [ May 10, 2009 @ 9:42 pm ] nosundays [ music | metro station; now that we're done ] Tell me your real opinion about me, anonymously. Write clearly and without smilies so I won't know who you are. or If you think you're brave enough to post a real opinion about me as you, do it. and you don't have to log out to be anonymous. you can choose to be "anonymous" when commenting. Read (24) Post Comment

Flickr Meme, stolen from Emily [ May 08, 2008 @ 7:29 pm ] panda367 [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | "I'm a Big Girl in a Big World"- Emilia ] I haven't done a meme in a while, so here goes... 1. go to flickr.com 2. type in your answer to the question in the search bar 3. use only the first page. ( With a Meme involving pictures, there inevitably is a cut... ) Post Comment

AP's, work, dieting [ May 08, 2008 @ 6:27 pm ] panda367 [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | "Hallelujah"- Damien Rice ] 1 AP DOWN, 3 TO GO! I just had my AP English Lit AP today. I'm feeling pretty confident about it- I probably got a 4 or a 5 on it, which is what BU requires for basically all of its AP credit, unless you're taking Calc or Physics or something, but I wouldn't touch either of those exams with a 10-foot pole, anyway. Psych is on Tuesday (ALSO MY BIRTHDAY), and both Econ tests are on Thursday. I'm actually going to have to study for those ones- I'm really nervous about the Psych FRQ's, as my teacher rarely had us practice them. I'll definitely beast the multiple choice, though. There is no hope for Econ. If I do my best, I'll get a 3, which doesn't count for BU anyway. I might right "THIS IS SPARTA" randomly on the free response if I'm feeling daring. Seabreeze orientation was yesterday. It was the best 4 hours of my life. Kidding. They did give us free food, though, and they didn't make us walk around the park in the rain. That was just a general orientation, though- my department orientation is tomorrow, so that's another 2 hours. I'm doing totally kickass with Weight Watchers- I've lost almost 10 pounds so far! *Is proud*. Of course, initially I always lose weight really quickly, but that's still an accomplishment. It's Over! Post Comment

I QUIT! [ May 08, 2008 @ 5:23 pm ] kwiditchjunkie [ mood | hyper ] I'm quitting Pepino's!... as soon as I secure another job. I'm looking into MJR theaters (FREE MOVIES, BABY) or the Hiller's Market that open just near here. Either way, I DO NOT want to be working at Pepino's anymore. Long story short, I no longer feel comfortable there. Saw Iron Man on Sunday and it was awesome. I went in thinking it was going to be like Fantastic Four but I was pleasantly surprised... and beyond! It was totally sweet. I planned to go again today after practice but I'm just not up for more driving... I had my AP English Literature test today, which I did not study for - mind you. I was über excited, however, that I was able to use "Death of a Salesman" in my essay!! I've got AP Psychology on Tuesday, and then after that I'm home free. I got the book Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time to read for my self-selected novel for Lit and I'm really psyched about it. I read the first paragraph and already like it. Supernatural is on tonight!!! *izexcited* *runs away* P.S. I watched 3:10 to Yuma after the test and before practice and Alan Tudyk is in it!!! *squee* XD I knew that before but I just had to share it with someone. Alan, Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, and Logan Lerman were my reasons for watching it. ^_^ Post Comment

ye olde Naruto display [ May 08, 2008 @ 12:55 pm ] sharingank [ mood | accomplished ] FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED EVERYTHING IS FINISHED. I just have one class left tonight, and I'm home free. -spaz- Anyway,I took some pictures of my Naruto program display, and I figured I'd share them with you guys. I'm really happy with the way it turned out! ( click here, citizens ) Read (27) Post Comment

OHHHH MY DOG [ May 06, 2008 @ 11:53 am ] sharingank [ mood | frustrated ] alsjfd isn't he cute GUH I still remember when he was small enough to fit in one hand ;___; BRB TRYING TO FINISH TWO PROJECTS IN TWO DAYS AHAHA shoot me now Also you get to hear me sing tomorrow. Also still need Patty and Liz at polychromatic. KID IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT HIS GIRLS. Read (4) Post Comment

New Email, Walking, APs [ May 05, 2008 @ 6:49 pm ] panda367 [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | "When It's Love"- Van Halen ] I FINALLY set up my BU email account! It becomes activated at 7 tonight. I'm going to start using it from now on- it's mirandal@bu.edu. I'm really happy, because now I can join the BU network on Facebook and register for orientation at BU- funtime! Today in gym, because our class is so small, we decided to walk, which was great. Me and Dawson talked and attempted to watch a video from The Onion. Now, this is going to turn into a "shut up and listen". Bear with me. Today's "Shut Up and Listen" topic: Pushing students into taking AP classes. Today in English, Guercio was talking about how he has 85+ kids signed up to take AP next year, as opposed to (maybe) 40 this year. He was saying that there has been a greater push to have kids take AP classes lately, which I agree with. This is (mostly) due to the Newsweek rankings of the top 100 high schools. We were once in the top 100, but recently we were in the 400's. One of the criteria for the top 100 high schools is the number of students that the school has taking AP exams. Notice that I said taking AP exams, not scoring well on AP exams. If we fell in the rankings due to scores, they would make the AP classes more selective so that only the students who would get 5's would be allowed to take them. But because the ranking is only based on how many students take AP exams, the school's plan is to have as many students as possible take the AP's, even if the students aren't smart enough to take them or want to take them. Counselors have been basically forcing students to take AP classes in order to increase our ranking and not caring about what the student wants. Now, my counselor has been good about this, but I've heard horror stories from other people. One girl told me that her counselor told her that "If you can take 1 AP, you can take 2. If you can take 2, you can take 3...etc." I heard that the administration wants to have 5 sections of every advanced class starting with next year's freshman, and have those 5 sections continue on (without anyone dropping). This poses numerous problems: - Kids that aren't smart enough to take AP classes are taking them, and they are struggling - The kids that actually ARE willing to do the work will get annoyed with the kids that aren't - A smaller class size is beneficial for AP's- it makes review sessions and class discussions much easier. - A drop in the averages of many students, because they aren't smart enough to do the work. Basically, I'm pissed because it appears that the school is caring more about itself and its "status" than the well-being of its students. Thank God I'm a senior. Post Comment

HAHAHA THIS IS GREAT [ May 05, 2008 @ 2:13 pm ] sharingank [ mood | amused ] So uh. Flew through the Soul Eater manga, was struck by the urge, apped Death the Kid at Poly, and....got him. OH MAN. OHHH MAN. LOLLERSKATES. He doesn't have a Patty or a Liz yet, though. (HINT?) hahahaha l;asjdf GUYS CHEER UP I'M READING ALL THIS DEPRESSING STUFF ON YOUR JOURNALS AND IT MAKES ME SAD. WHAT CAN I DO. SHOULD I SING A SONG FOR YOU AND RECORD IT IN A VOICE POST? I WILL. Three more days until freedom. AHH, SWEET FREEDOM. (Any Naruto trivia questions you guys wanna shoot my way? :D) Read (32) Post Comment

helsinki & zanzibar & islam [ May 05, 2008 @ 12:58 am ] nosundays [ music | dZihan & Kamien; Where's Johny Sabatino ] nitin & hanna. helsinki 2008. yesterday I wrote about Zanzibar; and I'll continue writing about her. however I think I just fell in love with Helsinki today again. I can't remember the last time when I felt like this; fuzzy and warm from inside and bursting happiness. you know the feeling when the you feel like a shooting star that can fulfill someone's wish? well that's not even close to what I went through today when I met Hanna and then later Mira. before you continue, I wish you to listen an adhan before or while you read this so you understand even slightly what I'm talking about here. yesterday's entry about Zanzibar was about Zanzibar. this entry is about Islam. you can download adhans from here or you can go here (though after five minutes it's rubbish). never ever I had believed in God even though I wished to. in my mind God was simply a safety net for people who wanted a solid ground for a house that they'd be building continuously in their lives. a visit to Zanzibar my wast first visit to an Islamic place where Islam influenced every single breathing person that touched the historical island. one day we went to Beit al' Ajaib (the House of Wonders) and after a few hours we found our ways to the third floor and we had the most stunning views of Stone Town and right at that moment Adhan (prayer call) filled the smooth, clean air. and I watched Muslim men who ran to mosques. the town ceased working. only rich Arabic words drifted and the boats stopped sailing. I saw men bowling and making precise, harmonic movements that they knew by heart. fathers and sons together asked for help and strength. praises for Allah and sole gratitude for what they have. who would I thank for my life? my mother? I didn't have anyone to hear my prayers and I came to realize at that moment that I had so much to pray for. should I tell my father that I'm thankful for giving me the possibility to be? thank him for what I've? my mind crashed on that very minute and I feared. then I turned my eyes to the Indian ocean and thought how she was so blue? the waves danced with calming sea shores as no one cared what they did while people prayed. I've studied coasts last year and I know how waves form but I still couldn't stop asking from myself how determines the size of a wave? the wind combined with some elements but these all elements are a gift from Allah, a young man told me when I said I'm not religious. he told me that everything that you see around you is His and only His work and if he wanted he could take it away. however Allah is good, he said. and I forgot all the miseries that the world holds and thanked Allah for my eyes that are able to witness his talent & kindness. I went to Beit al' Ajaib thrice after that around the same time so I could observe this again and again. I paid $4 every single time when I went to the balcony and sat there and watched and prayed and wrote and felt and most importantly lived. foreign people came and went. the Muslim men did what I wished to do. once they laughed after they came out of a mosque. I thought something fun had happened before the prayers had started; the thought that something fun would had happened during the prayers didn't cross my mind. after the visits there, I had an another routine. every single day I went to the harbour to watch the sunset and when it was almost dark I'd ran to this one specific park and sat there and listened to the prayer calling that came from the mosque near the park. and sometimes it would mix with three or four other callings and it made sense and they were unified and stunning and my ears started to cry after the Arabic words ceased. the House of Wonders was named like that because it was the first building to have electricity in Zanzibar. to me it's Beit al' Ajaib because I witnessed a wonder. a. ( the world of Zanzibar ) Read (40) Post Comment

Church, nails, diet [ May 04, 2008 @ 2:58 pm ] panda367 [ mood | mellow ] [ music | "Cool for Cats"- Squeeze ] We had to sing in both church services today (UGH) but we surprisingly sounded good. Phil was pissed because Brian told us that we could leave midway through the second service, but he still let us do it. All of the food in the Heavenly Undergrounds was so TEMPTING, but I managed to hold myself to a slice of pineapple and a strawberry *is proud*. I think I'm doing fairly well with Weight Watchers. I've only had to use my extra points twice, and I'm already feeling a lot better. It's only hard when there's food right in front of you. I have pretty good willpower, I think, as long as everyone's not there stuffing their faces around me. I painted my toenails today because I can FINALLY start wearing my Red Sox flip flops because it's nice out. Cosmogirl (by the way, I randomly got a free subscription to Cosmogirl because we bought some things from a catalog a while back- weird, I know) said that "opal blue" shades were better than darker ones, so I complied and painted my nails a blue-ish white. This sounds like I depend on CG for all of my life, which I don't. I have found that I like having a magazine say what to do for beauty type things, though, because I am completely inept at that sort of thing. I didn't paint my fingernails because I bite them. It's over! Post Comment

ALMOST FINISHED WITH ALL THIS SHIT. [ May 04, 2008 @ 10:23 am ] sharingank [ mood | working ] In the meantime, ♥ Read (25) Post Comment

Last night was a good night despite.... [ May 04, 2008 @ 9:08 am ] kwiditchjunkie [ mood | lazy ] [ music | "Handlebars" - Flobots ] So last night I had work. I thought it was going to be me, Ashton, and Caiden, but it turns out Ashton called in to say she couldn't work and we had an ASS-LOAD of reservations, so Caiden and I were swamped all night long. It was... frustrating, to say the least. And I feel guilty because I shamefully assumed that Ashton was taking the day off to study or something.... :( I feel like a huge jackass now. I totally forgot that she had Prom the night before and might've been exhausted. Anyway, it was BUSY. Crazy busy. Like, busy enough that the waitresses had to help us or else no one would get seated. By the end of the night, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I finally sat down for my break around 10.30 and found a salad already made for me by Beth!!!! Caiden and I enjoyed our salad dinners until she walks in with a friggin' huge slice of chocolate mousse for the both of us! Even though it's totally against restaurant policy, IT WAS THE NICEST THING EVAR. She said that we worked our butts off and deserved it. (I hugged her. ^_^) It was delicious. I scarfed it in about 30 seconds because if we were caught eating it, we'd probably be fired. It was a (*_*) moment and it brightened the rest of my night. Thought I didn't get home till about 11.45 last night, that pie was friggin' worth it. I made 60 bucks in cashy money, which is always nice. ^_^ I drove the Cadillac to work and didn't believe my mom when she said I'd have to "man-handle" it, I just laughed at her. All in all, I burned a new CD, sang like a Disney princess, and had a good time driving home. ^_^ Now with those 6,000 pennies, I'm going to see Iron Man today. Although I don't have high expectations, I'm going just to go... I need to stop at Kroger to buy the latest Supernatural magazine as well as a monster huge bag of Skittles. ----------------------------------------------- I finished the first season of How I Met Your Mother and IT IS SO GOOD. I want to be in a relationship just like Lily and Marshall's! They met on their first day of college, and now I'm getting my hopes up for Chicago. Those two are so cute together, I want to be just like that! *stares into the distance, dreaming* Just watch the show and you'll know where I'm coming from. ^_^ Crap! I just remembered I gotta go take some action shots for photography!!!! *flees* Post Comment

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